Return of the Spirit
by Sevi Snape
Summary: Hermione has lost one love but gained another. But when her first love returns what does he want? please review this please.


Disclaimer: if you recognise it then I don't own it! This is also a bit like truly madly deeply so that's why it sounds familiar.  
  
  
  
"Hermione?" whispered a soft voice whispered in her ear, "are you awake?"  
  
Hermione turned over under the thick eiderdown. She was careful to do this in a way as not to reveal any of her bare skin to the cold air. Looking up she saw his deep, dark eyes. She reached up and brushed a single strand of hair off his face and smiled.  
  
"Yes Severus I'm awake." She said.  
  
"Good, I was getting lonely watching you sleep." He smiled back.  
  
What a difference a smile can make. When he smiled he looked younger and a lot less severe.  
  
  
  
That had been the last time they woke up together. That had been the last time Severus woke up at all. It had happened a year ago. And 2 days after that Hermione's world had been turned upside down. A year ago was that awful day when Severus had been killed. And it still hurt, like it had happened yesterday. You see love has this way of never healing and never helping when you lose a lover. For that's what they had been lovers. A strange match if truth be told but love is also blind and did not see this. Severus had always said that he loved Hermione enough to die for her without complaint, unfortunately someone else knew that too. He was killed by the very people he had once called peers and friends. He had turned spy for Dumbledore and returned to the death eaters. After subjecting him to the Cruciatus curse several time they finally believed that Dumbledore had put him under the imperious curse. They had forgiven him for that. But there was one thing they would never forgive or forget, and this was the fact that he loved a muggle born witch. They had tortured him to try and extract any information about her.  
  
  
  
"What is her name?" spat Lucius Malfoy.  
  
"I will not tell you," gasped Severus in agony, " I will die for it, for her if I must but I would rather that than betray her to you!"  
  
"Crucio!" muttered Lucius.  
  
Instantly screams filled the dungeon and echoed off the walls. Suddenly the screams stopped and the last echo died away. Severus summoned all his strength and stood up.  
  
"You.you cow.coward!" he rasped in agony.  
  
"Oh I'm a coward am I Severus?" sneered Lucius and he muttered "Crucio."  
  
Lucius's eyes glinted as screams of pain once again filled the dungeon.  
  
"So Severus?" asked Lucius mockingly, as the screams died away, "is your precious little mudblood as brave as you?"  
  
"Don't. you dare call her that," gasped Severus clutching his chest. "Or I'll . I'll."  
  
"You'll what Severus? I don't really think you are in any position to threaten me." Lucius raised his wand.  
  
As this happened Hermione began to stir in the corner of the dungeon where she had been unconscious. Lucius noticed this movement and walked over to her and quickly.  
  
"Now Severus you wouldn't want your pupil to see you acting so weakly now would you?" asked Lucius as he took Hermione's face in his hand and forced her to look at Severus.  
  
"Lucius . even .even in this.state.I can .I can still." but Severus didn't finish, because at that moment there was a flash of blinding green light and a sound like wind roaring in from everywhere. Hermione opened her eyes and saw Severus's body lying limply on the floor.  
  
"NOOOO!" she shrieked, the noise reverberating about the room.  
  
"Lucius?" came a yell from outside.  
  
"I'm coming McNair!" Lucius yelled back.  
  
Turning to Hermione he surveyed her.  
  
"I'll be back to see you later." He said stroking her face.  
  
She spat at him and he slapped her, then he left the room cursing.  
  
When he left Hermione ran over to the body in the middle of the room. She placed her head on his chest sobbing.  
  
"Why? Severus why? I never got to tell you! I never got to tell you how much I loved you." She sobbed into his chest. She looked at him, his face was wet with sweat and blood and there were little cuts all over his face. His robes were ripped and showed to pale flesh underneath. As she lay there crying she could feel a piece of parchment in his pocket. Pulling it out she could see that it was a letter. Quickly she unfolded it and read it almost feverishly.  
  
My dearest love,  
  
I can not say your name in case this letter is found. I do not want you to be in danger and so must conceal any information about you. Unfortunately I knew this was to happen! I have the power to see into the future, should I wish to. It is a power I resent but I power none the less. I have seen how I will die and I want you to do something for me. Take the ring off my finger, it is a transfigured wand, use it to dissapperate. Also take the amulet from round my neck as it will protect you and bring you luck. I will love you forever my love.  
  
Yours for now and forever,  
  
Severus.  
  
Sobbing Hermione hugged Severus tightly. She kissed his lips and removed the ring and amulet from his body. Putting the amulet round her neck she put the ring on her finger.  
  
"Goodbye Severus, I'll always love you." She whispered and disappeared with a faint pop.  
  
  
  
That had happened nearly a year ago, on the 3rd may 1998. It still hurt as if it had happened yesterday. When she had returned Hermione had moved all her things into Severus's room. When she had first come back she had ran to his room and nuzzled into the pillow. It had smelt of fresh air and a faint intoxicating smell of vanilla. It reminded of her. She had left school at the end of that year and taken up the post as Potions Mistress. She had done this despite the objections of her friends and family. She was still grieving a year after it had happened. Every night she would climb into bed and try to sleep but could only think of him. Then she would have to get up and take a potion to help her sleep. When she finally got to sleep she would dream of him, all the things they had done together and the night he had died. In the morning she would force herself to get up and force herself to get dressed. She always wore black, as it had been Severus's favourite colour. Every lesson she taught she did it with no feeling, she merely repeated all the knowledge in her head in the same monotone. She hadn't dared change anything of his, his room or his office. They were exactly as he had left them except she slept in the bed and had her clothes in his wardrobe, but that had been the way it was when he had been alive.  
  
  
  
Sitting on the bed reading Hermione looked at the clock. 12.05 am.  
  
"What date is it?" she asked her self. "Oh no! It can't be! 3rd of May 1999!"  
  
This was the day Hermione had been dreading. He had died a year ago! A year had passed since that awful night! How had she managed it? One year without him.  
  
She got up and blew the candles out and tucked her self in to bed. She snuggled down into the bed and shivered slightly. She tried to sleep but to no avail. By 12.30 she was beginning to get annoyed with herself. This meant that she would have to take yet another potion to help her sleep. As the bells finished chiming 12.30 she heaved herself off the bed and went downstairs to the potion classroom.  
  
Once down there she pulled her wand out and lit all of the torches. Walking across the room she could see her breath as she breathed. Muttering a spell Hermione swished her wand and instantly the dungeon was thoroughly warm.  
  
"Stupid room, always cold." She muttered as she lit the fire.  
  
Standing there looking into the flames she was reminded of the many times she and Severus had sat reading infront of the fire. Close and warm. A tear trickled down her face as she stood there.  
  
"Pull yourself together woman!" she scolded herself.  
  
She walked over to her desk and pulled out a bottle of asphodel solution and wormwood solution. Although these could make the strongest sleeping draught known to this time, they were only in a diluted solution form and so they would merely act as a mild sleeping draught.  
  
Hermione put the bottles down on the desk and went to find the bottle of diamond water she kept in her cupboard. This was to make sure she didn't have any dreams. She poured the wormwood solution into a glass and picked up the other bottle. She added a splash of this solution, but no sooner had she done this it exploded and red sparks disappeared into the darkness.  
  
"Oh shit!" she cursed as she looked at the bottle she had in her hand. It wasn't asphodel; it was blood rose water  
  
"Miss Granger! You of all people should know that those two ingredients, when combined, combust vigorously!" came a sarcastic drawl behind her.  
  
"Severus?" she exclaimed as she whirled around.  
  
There he was, in front of her. Apparently alive!  
  
"Why? How? When?" she began to stutter.  
  
"Shhhhh! Don't ask any questions!" soothed Severus and walked over to her.  
  
He embraced her and held her tight. He wasn't a ghost but he couldn't be alive. She had seen him die! She couldn't believe this he was here. Pulling away slightly Hermione looked up into his face.  
  
"Severus why are you here? Why aren't you a ghost and." but she didn't finish as he had put his finger to her lips.  
  
Taking her hand he pulled her towards the door and up the stairs to her room. Pushing her gently inside he closed the door behind himself.  
  
"Oh how I have missed you." He said walking up to her and stroking her face.  
  
"How? How did you come back like this and not as a ghost?" she asked, enjoying the feeling of him touching her again.  
  
His hands were incredibly cold, but they still felt as good as she remembered. Collapsing on the bed he motioned for her to come and sit next to him. Perching on the edge of the bed she looked at him lying there with his eyes closed. This was how it was meant to be him and her. She hated Lucius for taking this away from her. She hated him enough to kill him. Hurt him as much as he had hurt her, physically and emotionally.  
  
As she thought this tears began to roll down her cheeks once more.  
  
"What's the mater?" asked Severus concerned, "did you not want me to come back? Should I leave?"  
  
"No Severus! No! Don't ever leave, ever again." She sobbed.  
  
"Maybe I can come back because I didn't die properly. I had unfinished business." He mused.  
  
"What business?" she asked looking at him through a film of tears.  
  
"Well you, I left you here without ever telling you how I felt. I left without grading those third year papers." He chuckled at her.  
  
"Severus!" she laughed as she hit him playfully.  
  
"I did take a potion to stop me becoming a ghost. I couldn't stand the thought of being able to watch everyone living with out me. I couldn't stand the thought of being able to see you everyday and yet not be able to touch or comfort you. You can understand my reasoning can't you Hermione?" he asked wiping her eyes.  
  
"Yes I do, of course I do." She said staring at him. "Can I kiss you?"  
  
He nodded and she leant forward to kiss him.  
  
Pulling back she looked at him and shivered.  
  
"Your lips are freezing!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Yes I know, this room is freezing!" he said looking around. "Oh Hermione why? This room isn't you! You should change it. It should suit you now that you're living here! And I have seen how you treat those children. No scathing remarks, Hermione your hopeless. You should have them like I had them. Too scared to reply! Honestly."  
  
"Severus I don't want to run them like you did, I'm not you." She looked round the room thoughtfully. "Maybe I should have re-decorated, but it was too soon. Too soon after you had gone."  
  
"Well I'm here now so maybe you should re-decorate." He said looking at her meaning fully.  
  
He got up and walked over to the desk in the corner. It was exactly how he had left it. Piles of tidy parchments and a crystal vase with several quills in it. There was nothing else on the desk except a picture of Hermione sleeping peacefully in the corner of the frame. Every so often the picture would sigh deeply in her sleep. Opening the draw he found what he had been looking for. A ring box.  
  
"Hermione, I." but when he turned around she was asleep on the bed.  
  
He walked over to her. Looking at her he smiled. This was the first real sleep she had had in nearly a year. He sat next to her and brushed the hair off her face. Why had he had to die why had he had to miss this? She had been his life. But wait he was being selfish. How was she coping? Hadn't he meant as much to her as she had to him? Hadn't just picked up the pieces and carried on? True she had carried on in a sad and monotonous tone, but she had still carried on. He admired her in so many ways and he knew as much as it hurt him it was time for he to move on. After tonight he wouldn't be able to reveal himself to her but at least he could try and help her move on now. She wouldn't know that was his motive of course. She stirred in her sleep. He leaned over and kissed her cheek before turning back to the room. Looking around he wondered how he should decorate it. This dark furniture was not Hermione. It was him. She was bright and cheerful, or at least she had been cheerful. He thought that maybe she would like a pale colour, pale yellow or something like that. But then wouldn't she have changed it herself if she did? Before he could answer his own question Hermione began to stir.  
  
She can't wake up! He thought as he silently walked over to her. She looked so beautiful. Far too beautiful for someone like him! Why had she been with him? And why couldn't she get over him now? He didn't know, but there was thing that he was sure of. And that was that she had to stop mourning. She had had an opportunity for a brilliant career and she had thrown it away to teach. Why? He himself had taught for one reason. That he wouldn't be able to find a job anywhere else. He supposed he had taught because he had loved the subject and wanted to show others its immense power and the art involved. Fat lot of good that had done. Here he was dead and still miserable. He didn't want Hermione to be like that.  
  
"What are you thinking?" said Hermione quietly.  
  
He jumped slightly and turned to her.  
  
"I was just wondering why. why.why you weren't awake for me to talk to!" he lied in mock anger.  
  
"Oh Severus how I have missed you!" she sighed. "But now tell me why can you come back?"  
  
"Well, basically it's like this. When I was a .a .a death eater, I was asked to brew a potion that would make the drinker immortal. But as no such potion exists then I ended up brewing a potion that makes the drinker unable to comeback as a ghost." He said with a furrowed brow.  
  
"Well then how have you come back? And what are you if your not a ghost?" asked Hermione perplexed.  
  
"I don't know!" he said, his eyebrows contracting in thought. " I know that you come back as a ghost if you have unfinished business and if you died a sudden death. So there you are I have come back for the same reasons as ghosts but I am not a ghost. Don't ask me how it works because I am not entirely sure."  
  
"Well what was your unfinished business?" she prompted.  
  
" I have already told you! It was you!" he exclaimed. "I don't think there is a easier way of saying this so I am just going to say it. Hermione you have to move on. I'm dead, I am not here! Please move on. You could be so happy with someone else. I mean you're hardly at the end of your life. Oh no quite the contrary yours is just beginning. You .you. you need to move on Hermione." He finished.  
  
"I don't want to move on Severus, I love you, I don't ever want to forget that." She said in a tear filled voice.  
  
"I'm not asking to forget me Hermione, I'm asking you to try and move on, find another person to love as much as you loved me. And I also want to give you this," he said as he pulled the ring out of his pocket.  
  
Taking the box from him she opened it. Inside was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. It was made of silver and had emeralds studded all round it. Inside the ring was an inscription:  
  
MY LOVE WILL CONTINUE EVEN WHEN I HAVE DEPARTED.  
  
"Oh Severus it's beautiful, how? When?" Hermione stuttered.  
  
"I got it ages ago, I was going to propose but then the unfortunate event of my death evaded that proposal. I wish it hadn't." he looked away from her.  
  
A tear trickled from his eye and ran down his nose before finally landing in the blackness of his robes.  
  
"Severus, I . I know what you mean." Said Hermione hugging him. "But Severus I have something to show you that will prove that theory."  
  
Hermione got up and walked into the room next to the bedroom and emerged holding something wrapped in blankets.  
  
"Is that? Is it mine?" said Severus shocked.  
  
"Yes he is. I didn't think you'd know. I had to take a lot of time off work to look after him, but no matter. Isn't he beautiful?" asked Hermione handing the baby to Severus.  
  
"How old is he?" asked Severus as he stared into the baby's face.  
  
"About 3months old." She said as a tear escaped her eyes. "I don't know what to call him. You do it. You name him."  
  
"I know what I want to call him, but maybe its not such a good idea." Said Severus still not looking away from the child in his arms.  
  
"What's that?" Hermione prompted in a whisper.  
  
"Hermes, messenger of the gods." Said Severus with a smile, "because like you I think he was sent from heaven."  
  
"Severus that's so sweet. Really mushy, but sweet." Said Hermione laughing.  
  
Several hours later, Hermione woke up to find the sunshine streaming in her window. This was strange, as this room had never had any windows. Sitting up she looked around. The room was different, the furnishings were different and there were no longer dark colours everywhere. It was a lovely pale yellow and soft terracotta with pine furniture.  
  
"Severus?" she shouted. "Where are you?"  
  
No sound could be heard. She got up and walked into the baby's room. Hermes was asleep in his crib and there was soft music coming from a small music box next to the crib.  
  
"Oh Severus where are you?" she whispered to herself as she leant against the doorframe and looked at her son.  
  
Wandering back into her bedroom she saw a letter on the bed. She walked over and picked it up.  
  
Dear Hermione,  
  
Words can't describe how I feel right now. Of course by the time you read this I will not exist, not even as a spirit. I didn't tell you that I was only allowed several hours as a being, but no matter. Remember me always but don't stop loving. For Hermes sake don't stop loving. You will always have the memories of our time together and that ring.  
  
Yours as ever,  
  
Severus  
  
Putting the letter down Hermione collapsed on the bed. Why did the magical world have the ability to complicate everything?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
OK so this is a bad ending but never mind. I thought it was rather sweet. And I know people are gonna say 'Hermione was the daughter of Hermes not the other way round' but never mind. Please click on the review button now.  
  
Oh and Strega Brava if you are reading this I can you email me as I tried to send you an email but it wouldn't let me. It said your email address was unavailable. Email me at funkkykyd@aol.com. 


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